The Dress that Didn’t Die With Me

I was in Texas, speaking at a leadership conference. Breakfast was over, my notes were in hand, and the room was buzzing with the kind of energy I love.

Then… something shifted.

My left breast—the one treated for cancer—began to swell. Rapidly.

Within minutes, it tripled in size. I could feel something going terribly wrong. I was rushed to the ER.

My blood pressure plummeted. My vision blurred. I remember the nurse saying, “We may have to cut off your dress.”

Even then, clinging to consciousness, I whispered, “Please don’t. That dress was an investment.”

I unzipped it myself. And then… my breast ruptured.

Blood everywhere.

It wasn’t cinematic. There was no soundtrack or spotlight. Just me, fighting to stay alive in a hospital gown, far from home.

Later I learned that radiation had weakened my skin. The internal pressure caused the rupture. A hidden cost of survival.

The dress—soaked and ruined—was gathered up by my husband.

And while I was still in the hospital, he took it back to the hotel.

He soaked it in the bathtub. Scrubbed for hours. Saved it.

That dress still hangs in my closet.

I even wore it again for the photo on the cover of my book.

Because it’s not just a dress anymore. 
It’s a symbol.

Of survival. 
Of softness wrapped in strength. 
Of everything I’ve walked through—and walked out of.

Some scars don’t show up on your skin. 
Some explosions don’t make noise. 
Some of us lead while we’re still bleeding.

And sometimes, leadership looks like grace under pressure—real, terrifying, transformative pressure.

I’m not sharing this for sympathy or shock.

I share it for the women still leading with quiet wounds. For those holding it together while falling apart inside. For anyone who’s kept their hand raised while their heart broke.

To you, I say:

You are not your pain. 
You are still here. 
And that makes you powerful.

So, what’s one thing in your life that proves you survived?

If you're ready to lead from your whole story—not just the polished parts—you're not alone. I speak for women like us. And I coach leaders who choose courage, not camouflage.

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