When “Strong” Isn’t a Compliment
How praise can become pressure—and why leaders need support, not silence.
We often tell people—especially women—that they’re “so strong.” We think it’s praise. But too often, that word becomes armor, expectation, and isolation all at once. For Black women in leadership, being seen as strong isn’t just common—it’s expected. But what happens when that strength becomes the only thing others see? In this post, I unpack the hidden weight behind the word “strong” and why authentic leadership must be rooted in wholeness, not performance.
We’ve all heard it—“You’re so strong.”
For years, I accepted it as a compliment. I wore “strong” like armor in the boardroom, at home, and even in the hospital while battling breast cancer.
But here’s the truth no one talks about:
When strength is all people see, they stop asking if you’re okay.
They stop offering help. They assume you can handle it all. And slowly, you start believing you must.
For Black women, this isn’t just perception—it’s reality. We’re expected to lead, fix, endure, and succeed… without flinching.
But I’m no longer interested in being strong just to survive.
What I Want Instead
I want to be whole.
I want to be supported, soft, and seen.
I want to lead from a place that’s sustainable—not sacrificial.
Because leadership isn’t about how much you carry.
It’s about how real you’re willing to be.
Let’s Stop Praising Strength Without Seeing the Cost
Too often, we applaud resilience while ignoring the emotional, physical, and psychological toll it takes to hold it all together constantly.
Let’s ask:
When was the last time someone checked in on your strength?
When did " strong " feel like support, not a script?
Real Leadership is Human
The strongest leaders I know are the ones who tell the truth.
Those who show the cracks, those who admit the fear, and those who still show up anyway.
That’s courage.
That’s self-leadership.
That’s what support really looks like.
💬Have you ever felt the pressure of being “the strong one”?
What did it cost you, and what helped you feel seen again? Drop a comment below or reach out. Let’s start normalizing wholeness in leadership.
